My Husband Is Gay: A Woman's Survival Guide by Carol Grever

By Carol Grever

“These ladies exhibit the need to outlive intact . . . Their passage to wholeness exemplifies forgiveness, development, therapeutic, wish, and infrequently reconciliation.”—from MY HUSBAND IS GAY
Carol and Jim have been highschool sweethearts who married of their early twenties. Thirty years and young children later, Jim introduced to his spouse that he was once gay. A fundamentalist Christian, he have been best a double lifestyles for years. so one can tackle her discomfort and confusion, Carol Grever sought out different heterosexual ladies, of every age, ethnicities, and academic backgrounds, who have been married to homosexual males. The tales she exposed study their coping innovations and shape the root of this handbook for therapeutic.

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I felt unsupported by Jim and increasingly frustrated by our lack of closeness. I flirted with our friends and flirted with disaster. It was apparent that our marriage was in serious trouble. The situation reached a crisis when I confessed to Jim that I had fallen into an affair with one of our best friends. I was ripe for the attention and this man had given me the nurture and physical affection that I lacked at home—he made me feel beautiful and desirable and loved. But the guilt I carried became intolerable and I told Jim the whole story.

Our sex life deteriorated from that point. Of course, I felt rejected and undesirable, but Jack backed away from sex with excuses like not wanting to harm the baby during my pregnancy. ” Another interesting example of alternative lifestyle as a choice is seen in Zoe and Charles. Zoe is a former actress who worked in England and the United States before her marriage. She was very active sexually before her marriage and was always attracted to gay men, as well as straight. She converted to Buddhism many years ago and followed a Buddhist teacher who happened to be bisexual.

The stress increased when Jim’s father died after half a dozen years with Alzheimer’s and my dad was diagnosed with leukemia. I made many trips to Tulsa to be with my parents, saddened to watch the deterioration of my dad’s health. I felt alienated from Jim, who seemed to carry on his nearly separate existence as if nothing were happening. My tension peaked when I spent nearly a whole month in Tulsa, sitting in Daddy’s hospital room, watching his patient, brave battle with death. My sadness and grief were unspeakable.

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